i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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