So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
