I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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