is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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