Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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