I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
