I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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