You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
