I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
