I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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