Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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