5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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