I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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