at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
