Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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