You can't motorboat a personality
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
as a side note pls kill me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
