just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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