question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
