I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
