I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
