Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
