We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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