He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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