I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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