I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
