I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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