Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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