I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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