Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Success! We fucked roommates!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
