fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
