does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
time to smoke my breakfast
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
