they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
