Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
