plz talk dirty to me
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
