I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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