he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
