you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
