This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
