Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
