i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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