i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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