so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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