My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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