Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
