i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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