Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize