twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize