We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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