did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
