sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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