i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
