i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
