He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
