How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
