i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
