She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
