I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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