Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i need to put some appletini on your dick
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
