There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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