STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
