Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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