u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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