Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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