We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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