sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
