im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
