Soap is not a condiment
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
