He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
