Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
