I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
