If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
