They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
