I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we're making bets on your personal life
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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