Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
